Watching Showtime

Now that Nancy’s life (and those of her kids) are officially threatened by U-Turn, you’d think her first order of business would be to get the f*ck out of dodge. Not so, as this newest episode of Weeds opens with Nancy stumbling down the stairs in dirty old pajamas after having slept for almost 24 hours straight. First order of business? Fire Lupita (who has just cooked a meal for the first time in three years) because she has just realized she can’t afford her. She then turns to Andy and the kids for money-making ideas.

Andy’s bright idea? Nancy loaning him ten grand so he can enter a poker tournament. Has he ever even played?! Silas, still high on breaking into mama’s drug stash offers to break into other people’s safes, and Nancy tells him where he can stick it. Shane reminds his mother that he’s got a stock portfolio worth around $2600, and Nancy tells him to liquidate it, despite it being HIS money, and the penalty he’ll incur for withdrawing early. How is it fair that Shane should have to suffer his family’s idocricy? I can understand Silas and Andy, but Shane’s done nothing but be a kid this entire time.

While the Botwin household is falling to pieces, Celia is visiting a lawyer (Carrie Fisher). With no money and not a whole lot of options, she realizes she must somehow make Isabelle like her enough to get sole custody; this way she can live off the Huskaroo income Isabelle is earning. Nice. Mother of the year, that one.

Andy heads off to the army recruiter to report in (remember how he’s a deserter?), and brings Shane with him. Even after he shows the army guy his bit-off toes, he finds out he’s still eligible for the military. In one of the funnier exchanges in the show, Shane reminds the army guy that we’re not at war, but involved in an “extended military invasion” … How does Shane alwys get the good lines?! Andy, however, can’t get out of his service and is headed for a desk job and has to report at 5am to go to basic training.

Nancy goes to see Doug (who is among other things her accountant), and finds him in his boxers, living out of his office now that Dana’s kicked him out of the house. Nancy’s trying to cash in all her stocks and bonds so she can pay off U-Turn, but she finds out she has none left - she cashed them all in to buy the bakery. Desperate, she decides to sell her house to take the 50k she’d make off the sale, even though she has no idea where she and her kids will sleep. Poor Nancy just might have to become middle class or even blue collar for awhile. Wonder when she’ll give up that princess crown?!

[side note about Heylia and Conrad: even though they’re looking for a grow house, it would appear Heylia has "plans" for U-Turn. How long before she has him off’d like she did Peter?!]

Celia and Isabelle are hanging out in Celia’s ghetto hotel room in her last-ditch effort for some mommie-daugther bonding time, and they’re fighting more than anything else. After finding a used condom in the cot she’s supposed to sleep in, Isabelle calls Child Protective Services on Celia. It’s obvious she doesn’t want to ever see her mother again, and who can blame her?!

After telling the family she’s selling the house and packing Andy off to basic training, Nancy heads off to visit U-Turn with the measly $7000 she has for him. Is anyone surprised when he tells her she’s going to have to work off her debt, and then sends her off to pick up a package?! The situation gets even funnier when the leader of the Hispanic group she has to get the “stuff” from makes her do a slutty dance on the pool table, and then hands her brick weed instead of the heroin she didn’t know she was supposed to get. Communication is key U-Turn! Now Nancy has to get $12,500 for that crappy weed, and has four days to do it. At least he finally told Nancy what I’ve been screaming at the t.v for three years now: Get a fucking job!

At least Silas gets a measly six months probation/community service out of his criminal activities, freeing him up to help his mom fill the bags of weed. Just as things are starting to look like they might settle down a tiny bit, and the episode begins to wind down, we’re hit with three crazy events.

First, Andy finds out he’s not getting that desk job after all, but will be shipped off to Iraq. Then Celia loses all custody of Isabelle, only getting supervised visitation on weekends. Finally, a DEA officer shows up at Nancy’s door with a few questions concerning Peter!

To catch up with all the old episodes:
season three, episode one
season three, episode two

[tags]

weeds, nancy botwin, mary-louise parker, celia hodes, elizabeth perkins, doug wilson, kevin nealon, andy botwin,
justin kirk, heylia james, tonye patano, conrad shepard, romany malco, silas botwin, hunter parrish, shane botwin,
alexander gould, peter scottson, martin donovan, jenji kohan, mary-kate olsen, showtime[/tags]