Watching Showtime

It’s the first round-table read-through of Lez Girls, and we get to meet all the women playing Jenny’s friends. I don’t know that I think any of them really match the real people they’re playing, but that’s not really the point, is it? The point is that Jenny acts all sugary-sweet and not at all her crazy self! That shouldn’t last long, and when she loses it? Their reactions will be priceless.

It’s good to see that Tina and Bette are acting all awkward around each other now that they’ve made out again! That’s going to be the biggest giveaway to their friends that there’s something going on between them, and the longer they hold off on “talking about what happened” the worse the awkwardness will be. As they talk at The Planet, you can really see how much Jodi has affected Bette. She’s super concerned about being manipulative to Tina, which is something she’d never have done before Jodi.

Alice and Tasha see the basketball player on tv, hating gays. Alice is horrified, and while Tasha is too, it’s pretty clear Alice is contemplating using that video she took to her advantage. Tasha wants to “smack the shit out of that guy” and out him, but it looks like it’ll be Alice who does that!

Over at She-Bar, it looks like they’re serving coffee after all. While Shane flirts with Cindi (Dawn Denbo’s lover), you find out they’ve done a drive-thru window for their coffee, which is something Kit had wanted to do and told Dawn about. These bitches are super backstabbing, and Shane’s gone and gotten herself mixed up with them! Before leaving, Cindi gives Shane her address so she can swing by her and Dawn’s house for another three-way.

Jenny and Nikki are getting along better and better. While Nikki’s trying on costume choices she and Jenny are talking about girlfriends. Turns out Jenny thinks she has to be a “good girl” and focus on her work. Jenny’s really just concerned with getting the “perfect” outfit for Nikki, and when Adele compliments an outfit Jenny didn’t like, she insults the hell out of Adele. Not good for crazy to insult crazy for sure! And then there’s the issue of the Svengali story. Who wants to bet the same sort of thing happens again in Jenny’s life, but with her on the other end.

Getting ready for Jenny’s “meet the person who’s playing you” party, Shane is making pot brownies. Adele and Max show up, and Max starts to get some hints that Adele is totally hiding facts about her past. She pretends not to know what “party brownies” are, for starters, and that’s just ridiculous! But it’s when she says her dad was a firefighter, that’s when Max’s ears pick up. Alice walks in, and she and Shane talk about how they both think Adele is super cute, despite what Max says. And then Alice insults Max. Again. But apparently he’s still willing to help her run a super-fast podcast so she can out the basketball player on Alice In Lesbo Land.

Shane’s over at Dawn and Cindi’s house, where it turns out Dawn is nowhere to be found and Cindi is totally naked. After a few protests (good girl Shane!) to the non-threeway arrangement about to happen, Shane caves and the pair have some super-hot sex. And I really want to be mad at Shane for this, because it’s sure to bring huge drama her way, but hello? I don’t think anyone would be strong enough to turn down Dawn Denbo’s lover Cindi. Especially after she says it will be fine.

While Shane’s screwing one half of She Bar, Alice is over at The Planet letting Kit in on just how far Dawn will go to take over West Hollywood. And that’s when Max calls Alice to tell her Daryl Brewer is on tv, apologizing for being gay. And that’s when you see Alice on tv as well. They know who she is, her video has gone viral all over the net, and now she’s in the midst of a huge scandal. She’s got hundreds of messages on her phone, most likely from reporters wanting to interview her.

Jenny and Niki are getting along way too well, with Niki making movie suggestions and everything. Quite a change from Jenny hating everything Niki-related. And because Tina can see that Adele is willing to do anything for Jenny, she asks her to spy on Jenny for her. For Jenny’s benefit of course. Tina wants to know if anything happens that she should be kept abreast of, and I’m sure there’s a lot more than Tina really wants to know. But with Adele on her side, this sort of knowledge will come to her a lot easier.

Alice still can’t get ahold of Tasha regarding her interview on Crossfire. But rather than saying she can’t do it, she goes ahead and does the interview. And she does amazing. Let’s be honest and say that it’s wonderful to have the “old” Alice back in action, temper flared and not taking any shit from anyone, especially when it comes to gay-hate. While Alice is getting ready for her television debut, there’s drama all around her friends. Tina helps Bette figure out what to do about the whole Jodi’s art class issue, which pretty much seals their relationship into the past. And Max is telling Jenny and Shane about all the discrepencies in Adele’s “life story”. And when Adele pulls out the tears at her mother’s supposed suicide attempt, they all believe her. So sad.

And now it’s time to party! Bette and Jodi are arguing about whether or not to go to the party, and despite Bette’s protestations they end up going. Do they need to make it any more clear that Jodi runs Bette’s life? At the party we get to see all the “real people” interact with their actor counterparts. And it’s hilarious to watch. The woman who’s playing Shaun is all super homophobic, making sure Shane knows that she’s straight and has a boyfriend, and that she’s just “gay for pay”. Nice. Over and over we see that the women that were picked to play the roles in Jenny’s movie are almost the complete opposites of the women they’re portraying. The woman playing Alyce is all dark-haired and bubbly, not at all edgy in the way Alice thought she’d be. The woman playing Bev is so confrontational she makes even old-school Bette look like a kitten. The kicker? She’s a white actress, and Bette is bi-racial. Shades of Angelina Jolie in “A Mighty Heart” anyone? Bette gets so upset she leaves the party (with Jodi still hanging out).

Once Shane busts out the pot brownies, everyone starts to get a lot more relaxed. They’re dancing on tables and drinking their asses off when Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindi show up to cut the music. Dawn apparently found out about Cindi and Shane, and has a few choice words not just for Shane, but for all her friends. Her outburst is ill-timed, however, because everyone is so stoned that Dawn’s rage doesn’t even phase them. After threatening to ruin Shane, The Planet, and all her friends and family, Dawn and Cindi leave. Well, Dawn drags Cindi out of the party while she tries to apologize to Shane. Classic!

After all the drama is done, Jenny is helping Niki figure out the impetus behind the bathroom experience Jenny and Marina entertained in the first season. While waiting in line for the bathroom. And then they “workshop the scene” with Jenny playing Marina and Niki playing Jessi. Except in this version Jessi doesn’t run out of the bathroom. Instead she stays and Niki and Jenny get it on. And by get it on, I mean they head into Jenny’s room to fuck in her closet. Oh, the irony!

Holy Shit!!! Tasha shows up at the party just after Bette has called in a noise complaint, and she’s definitely not happy with what Alice has done. And for once Alice doesn’t let Tasha put her in her place, telling her that she’s tired of having to hide her life. Tasha talks all about wanting Alice to not stop her life because of the hearing she’s got to go through, and then when Alice does what she’s built to do, Tasha gets mad. And then Alice calls it what it is … Tasha has chosen to live in a closet and Alice has not.

As the night is winding down, several members of the cast go swimming in Bette’s pool with Tina and Shane. Tina, too drunk to drive home, gets snapped up by Jodi, who does the super nice thing and brings Tina into Bette’s house to sleep on the couch. Bette doesn’t look as happy about this, but what are you going to do?

season five links:
LGB Tease
Look Out, Here They Come
Lady Of The Lake
Let’s Get This Party Started